Sunday, July 8, 2012

Lumpur - Skema Pembalasan Sempurna (2012; New Standard Elite Records)

According to Google Analytics, the Indonesian version of google,, refers the most traffic of any country's google portal to Slam-Minded. We get more hits from Indonesia than Germany, Canada, or the UK. This tells me that there is a passion for brutal death metal in Indonesia so I thought I'd try to find a deserving Indonesian band to review.

Thanks to some recommendations I found a very deserving candidate in Lumpur, who hail from Bandung on the island of Java. After 9 years of silence (including a 6 year hiatus), Lumpur have released a short, but powerful EP entitled Skema Pembalasan Sempurna. I say powerful because Lumpur jam a lot of metal  into this EP's 14 minutes. I've heard full lengths with less brutal slamming than Skema Pembalasan Sempurna. Lumpur play an absolutely relentless style that, while not particular fast or harsh, continually flows over you and breaks you down (in a good way). The riffing doesn't stop, it just carries you along with it. Lumpur have definitely taken a more holistic approach to songwriting, which I think works exceptionally well for the EP format. Each individual song works together with the other songs on the album to create a complete work. This really speaks to Lumpur's songwriting skill.

The riffing style here definitely borrows from deathgrind, which I like. There's a backbone of chugging that the bass and drums stick to, while the guitar ventures out using tremolo riffs and pinch harmonics. There's definitely a subtlety here that again speaks to the skill of the band. They keep up  a steady beat of destruction  whereas a lot of other bands try too many things at once and thereby create a muddled mess. Skema Pembalasan Sempurna is not simple by any means, but Lumpur stick to a particular style, which makes the album a more unified and memorable experience.

I have still just begun exploring the world of Indonesian brutal death metal, but if there are more albums like this, I am sure that I will like what I find.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Abnormality - Contaminating the Hive Mind (2012; Sevared Records)

Abnormality have been kicking around for what seems like many years at this point, though it's really only been about 5 or 6 years since their first demo. I remember hearing them for the first time as a student interning at the university radio station. Mallika and co. would stop by infrequently, and, whether the occasion was a live show or an interview on radio, generally come off as the definition of "class acts." Hell, it was that radio station's headquarters where I bought a t-shirt directly from the band all those years ago. I think I sported it at MDF this year, too... look, now I'm getting all teary-eyed and nostalgic. Thanks guys...

Also, damn, look at that cover art.

Ahem... right... onto the music? I honestly don't think I can believe my eyes here; I actually have on my desk a copy of the Abnormality FULL-LENGTH ALBUM. This is a time I thought would never come. It's also over 30 minutes long and features 8 brutal as hell, spastic, sometimes-slamming, always-relentless twisters of deathgrind technicality. The CD opens with a blistering drum whirlwind with an equally off-kilter and fucked-up riff grinding away in the background. I particularly like the attention to bass the production has; I can hear a lot of slappy pops and things like that which show me the bassist is doing more than just following everything the guitarists are doing. The middle of the song sees the guitar doing a bit of flourishing lead-work, though it is quickly quelled and flows right back to the rolling, heavy and oppressive sound found earlier in the track, punctuated by staccato snare blasts and a lot of loud-as-hell kick drum.

One thing that is cool here that very rarely gets love in slam or brutal death metal in general would be tight vocal phrasing and great, evocative lyrics. Mallika is, of course, an awesome vocalist, but I never noticed that her lyric writing skills are almost on-par with her expressive growling and screaming. Most of the verse lines actually rhyme or come close (though they do use a lot of similar diction at times; not really a big deal and more of a truism than criticism, honestly), and if they don't, they tend towards similar phrasing so that the vocals actually hit cadence during verses. I just love this kind of shit; it isn't typical "bluuurgh" or pig-squeal stuff, there's thought going into vocal patterns and attention to how they fit into the music.

"A Chaos Reserved" also has a pretty nifty solo, and I like the lurching breakdown right after that incorporates phasing on the rhythm guitar... neat and clean effect that makes the track stick out in my mind. "Fabrication of the Enemy" sounds a little bit Colombian, as the blasting is of the gravitational variety and
 the riffs are bizarre and squeaky-clean. There's an American-ness to the production, but its glossy sheen doesn't really bury anything, instead opting for fairly loud compression that attempts to give head-space to every instrument. There are times when the kick drum is really much too loud, especially when it is overlapping with the snare during blasts, and I miss a lot of what the cymbals are doing, but the suffocating aura exuded by ten tons of gravity blasts every track quickly remind me that I don't particularly care. This track even has a funeral-ish slam that really comes straight out of nowhere and descends to a semi-old-school death metal with way over-the-top kick and a nice solo. Parts of "Taste of Despair" sound a bit like older Despised Icon, though the way vocal patterns and riffs are formulated remind of Malignancy and Suffocation, respectively. "Schismatic" has a great intro, very moody (acoustic guitar), but it drops that aspect like a cheap whore and goes full-blast until finding a comfortable groove at just about 2 minutes in.

 "Shooting the Messenger" has this weird, awesome empty part a little over a minute in which kicks the proceedings up a notch by proceeding to a thrashy riff/drum combo (going double-time compared to normal thrash) before dropping into a nice, thorough slam and back to the previous thrashing. At this point I'm a little tired of the soloing, as it is a bit shreddy, unmemorable and kind of dull, but I really dig the riffs and how they repeat for almost exactly the right amount of time nearly without fail. "Contaminating the Hive Mind" is blustery, a virtual beatdown in audio form... the whole part that ends with the title drop is incredible vocal phrasing and pacing; perfect. A sort-of backwards-sounding breakdown follows that up, and they do repeat the chorus one more time before dropping into an intense slam featuring the indomitable Matti Way doing guest vocals. His performance here does, unfortunately, seem a bit phoned-in, but the music that's backing it up provides the bread-and-butter that I'm looking for in a closing track, so I don't quite mind.

Now, I should definitely get to the critical and possibly scathing segment of my review: part of me finds each of these songs a little too distended; it's almost like they're constantly outliving their given shelf-life, yet at the same time trying to convince you that they're not and that there's more (and interesting) material to come. Only sometimes do they really make good on that promise, though (though the majority of the time, this is quite the brutal, enjoyable romp, don't get me wrong). I found it amusing that it even sounds like the solos are trying to hurry the proceedings up, making everything seem the longer overall. They even show up at essentially the same time during every song in which they appear. I can't really get by that for this album, unfortunately; it is impenetrably, irrevocably brutal but a bit harrowing and haranguing on the whole. It seems weird, then, that I would long for an Abnormality full-length and then trash their desire to write longer (and more) songs, but it really sort of becomes a sticking point when the songs themselves are overbearing to some extent, especially the one-dimensional drum production which goes tickety-tock too much, too often.

This has some awesome chops all over the place, and almost every song is tighter than [insert brutal euphemism for something tight here], Mallika is as usual a wonderful vocalist (and apparently also quite the writer), and everyone in this band clearly knows their way around brutal deathgrind with a keen eye towards lack of relenting, so there sure are a bunch of positives here. But this is a duality, a push-and-pull with the issues that I find so often in debuts, and there are glorious moments when they struggle and succeed to rise above it all. For the next material this band puts out, I hope there will be more than awesome moments, or, hell, even more than awesome songs. I want there to be awesome purpose, an awesome album that defies conventional logic and blows minds, not just eardrums. And if any band can do it, it's our local heroes in brutality, Massachusetts' own Abnormality.

*preferably with a reference to virgins or something... I dunno, whatever you slam kids say these days

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Kraanium - Post Mortal Coital Fixation (2012; Comatose Music)

Slam fans, I think we might have a classic on our hands. Kraanium's newest full length is that good.

It's probably premature to call this a classic just yet, but Post Mortal Coital Fixation is the best album I've heard this year by far. It's a huge step forward for the band and vaults them forward to the top tier of current slam bands.

In the past I've always been fond of Kraanium, if not as big a fan as some. They wrote catchy, compulsively listenable slam with tinges of thrash in their breakdowns. It wasn't the most interesting material, but it got the job done and the band played with a lot of energy and passion. That'll last a band a few albums, but even slam death bands need to evolve (if only slightly) to keep people coming back album after album. That's why so many bands are one and done, or worse, release progressively worse music.

Kraanium avoided that fate here by turning to a more serious and mature (well as mature and serious as this genre gets anyway) approach. Post Mortal Coital Fixation is not as in your face as the past two albums, but that's a good thing. Kraanium attack with an inexorable assault of slow breakdowns, and writhing riffage. The trash stylings remain but are less prominent, in favor of a darker tone to the breakdowns. This reminds me a lot of Infernal Revulsion's Devastate Under Hallucination, which was a classic in its own right. Post Mortal Coital Fixation has a sense of darkness and foreboding, that enhances the crushing nature of the breakdowns.

It is obvious from this album that Kraanium really understand what makes this genre of music so good. Taken as individual parts slam is pretty simple and straightforward and that's fine. But it is incredibly gratifying when a band can take those parts and create something more - a particular feeling. That feeling where you just want to start banging your head. That feeling that only metal fans understand. No particular song or riff stands out above the others, but that's because they all work together to create an incredibly powerful album.

My only worry is that fans who loved Kraanium's previous albums might not be able to get into this one as quickly, due to its higher bar of accessibility. If you are feeling this way I urge you to give it a few more chances. This one is definitely worth it. I fully expect it to be near or at the top of my best of 2012 list.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Secreted Entity - Horrifying Hallucinations of Ungodly Activities (2012; New Standard Elite Records)

Slam is not a genre known for subtlety. In fact, the utter lack of subtlety is one of the core ideologies of the genre. Still, sometimes albums can be hard to grasp completely after a first listen. What seems ordinary at first glance is revealed to be a hidden gem after a little more delving. Because of this, I make sure to always give albums I review at least two listens. Horrifying Hallucinations of Ungodly Activities by new Cali slammers Secreted Entity is one those albums that took some time to get into, but once it clicked I found myself listening to some top-notch slam.

In one sentence Horrifying Hallucinations of Ungodly Activities can be summed up as Colombian slam viewed through an American lens. Take the cutting tremolo melodies and crushing grind/slams of bands like Amputated Genitals and Blaze Inside, and replace the brutish coarseness of Colombian slam, and replace it with the more refined Cali sound and you'll have an idea of what this album sounds like. I'm not sure if Secreted Entity were trying to go for a more Colombian sound, or if they merely stripped and bent the normal technicality of the countless CADM Disgorge clones, but they ended up with something unique and really good. I'm a big fan of how dirty and rough a lot of Colombian bands are, but Secreted Entity prove that kind of riffing works well with a good production.

Speaking of production, this album sounds great. Everything is thunderous and loud without the annoying "loudness" that so many "well-produced" albums end up having. The drums especially sound great. Pounding and visceral, but never overpowering. The excellent sound really helps Secreted Entity display their hybrid style to the fullest. In fact, I think Horrifying Hallucinations of Ungodly Activities relies on it. This album is greater than the sum of its parts because of how killer everything sounds.

I do have a few minor criticisms however. The first is how flat the pace is throughout the album. Secreted Entity play at what I would call a "lumbering" speed. This is fine, but I wish they would change it up more. After all, drastic tempo changes are what slam is all about. Secondly, the album/song titles read like brutal death mad-libs. This is a minor thing and I don't expect a lot, but a consistent theme can go a long way in establishing an overall aesthetic for the album.

Definitely give this album a try (or two). Secreted Entity have crafted one of the better and more unique albums to come out this year.

Note: Thanks to the anonymous commentor who recommend this album to me.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Visceral Throne - Omnipotent Asperity (2012; Brutal Bands)

Good ol' American slam death is back, and it's actually blastier than ever with the coming of this new album by fledgling Indiana-based 4-piece Visceral Throne. This band writes modular, compact and tightly played songs which really run the gamut from technical death metal to intense chugging slam, even throwing in a few melodic references at times. Right from the beginning of the album, I'm assaulted by a wash-fade-in that leads to a killer semi-melodic riff with spastic and mindfucking drumming. A half-slam becomes a blast riff and dissolves back into a chugging fury, the band plays around the edges of structure with several repeating riff ideas all referencing something of a core concept in each track. The snare is pingy and bright, which I really like (if you read the last review Logan and I wrote about Chordotomy, you'd know that it's my belief that more slam should have loud, colorful snare that highlights slams), but there are times when it can be overbearing, especially during blasts. 11-note slams punctuate "The Amaranthine" with brutal precision, and the way they tease you with groove is addicting because they regularly discard amazing sections only to lead into even more complex and satisfying deviations. The last half minute even has a funeral slam (god, I'm glad bands are doing this a lot more; it is amazing).

There are parts of this that have this really bizarre, dark and twisted atmosphere, which reminds me a bit of the latest Condemned album, though this is much more all-over-the-place (though it's not like that album was simplistic at all; far from it). This has a far brighter mixing job than that album, but it's still got the same staggering, barely-held-together qualities to it that make this kind of stuff so appealing. Cleverly placed slams are really abundant here, though they tend to be a bit basic in composition. The band seems to spend more time thinking about how to destroy your idea of songwriting than actually writing big slams, but I'm not really of the mind to care about that when all of the individual parts of songs are so massive and skull-beating as they are here. Take about 2:20 of the title track for example; holy hell that's insane. Completely intense yet laid-back drumming (reminds me a lot of Psycroptic at times, actually) underpinning a killer sharp riff. Traditional noodly lead section aside (alright, time to admit it: these actually get on my nerves at this point; write more really epic solos like the one in "Epitaph"!) this song is full of amazing things happening with barely enough time to digest all of them. That means it's absolutely, 100% certifiably awesome to listen to on repeat. You'll be discovering things you didn't even come close to hearing during that first listen; things that make you repeat the last track just to headbang to them, dissect them and worship them, finding out much later that that part was what's been stuck replaying in your head all day (top albums for this kind of thing for me include Bodysnatch - Insights of a Rotten Theatre and Cephalic Impurity - Unique Brute Revival, for the record).

"Transcending Carnality" has this big Meshuggah influenced part with a solo that actually sounds a little bit like something Thordendal would pen, which is kind of a great homage. Very staccato rhythmic section with a beep-y guitar solo over the top, quite cool. The second solo in the song is actually much more epic, perhaps like something Decrepit Birth would write on their last album, Polarity. Another great thing about this album would be its length; it's short (a few minutes shy of a half-hour) and doesn't get exhausting to listen to. One of the hardest things to do in slam death (or brutal death in general, really) is to write appropriately-long albums; a lot of albums either overextend themselves into tired blasturbation and/or focus on way-too-distended slams that start to lose context after a while. Very few bands can do longer slam albums, and there are some who have written albums that are too short (fucking Wormed). This is a nice length, honestly, especially given the blindingly complex nature of the material. "Conceptual Metamorphosis" has the longest straight slow section on the album from what I recall, and even then it doesn't feel too bad because it erupts into a very quick and clever (due to use of stereo panning) next song.

It seems the US breeds a lot of bands sort of like this, to be honest. There are lots of Californian bands who basically spit out extreme-tech-death with nothing to hold on to, no big meaty riffs, no love for the slams. This is sort of a "fuck you" to that idea. If you like dissonant, chuggy brutal death metal that doesn't ever descend into self-indulgent wankery, instead preferring to blast the ever-loving shit out of everything in its vicinity, this is certainly the album for you. Oh, and it's up for pre-order here. Do so now, for the love of the game, and for the love of awesome bands like this. Let us slam together once again, in brutal and destructive perfection.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Chordotomy - The Precious Ideal (2012; Rotten Roll Rex)

So, this is going to be a somewhat interesting review for us. It's basically a "live" review consisting of banter between Logan and I while listening to the album. It will be divided up as a "track-by-track" review with a little bit of editing, but overall, we do discuss some of the previously-heard tracks and how they interact with each other and the album as a whole. It's a little bit funny, a little bit serious and quite critical on the whole (while giving high praise when it is due, of course!). People like our criticism and how explanatory we are here at S-M, so I hope this also does the trick for those people, albeit in a different way than usual. If this review style gets praise, we will do more like it (though keeping to ourselves and going solo is how most reviews will be, per usual). Let's get this show on the road:

Andy: alrighty, let’s do this.

Andy: this definitely seems cheesy so far.
Logan: it's not a really good intro
Andy: why is it 4 minutes long?
Logan: It just keeps going on and on.
Andy: yeah, this is an immediate turnoff.
Andy: no one listens to slam for long-ass intros.
Andy: but i mean, i like the demo so i want to see where it goes.
Logan: It's better then even longer ass outros.
Andy: yeah, haha, we're always like
Andy: EPIC!
Logan: Fuck you Condemned.
Andy: oh god why, it's like 3 minutes and then nothing forever
Logan: All I'm getting out of this is that some dude loves killing Craigslist prostitutes.
Logan: Seems like the norm.
Andy: and dropping them by the river.
Logan: Wait
Andy: i love how the female anchor sounds extremely surprised by this trend
Logan: there's 12 victims
Logan: now theres 8 victims
Andy: "oh my god, there are so many victims!"
Logan: what just happened
Andy: hahaha, he's zombifying them.
Logan: Goddamnit, this would've been interesting had it only been a minute or so.
Andy: okay, this is much more amusing because it's so fucking absurd.
Logan: do the quick math, that's 8 deaths
Logan: but there were just 12
Andy: can't explain that
Andy: checkmate, atheists.
Logan: Long Island has a lot of serial killers.
Andy: hhahaha "hopefully we won't have any more bodies."
Andy: amen, dude. amen.
Logan: SEE
Andy: okay, the last part is sort of sweet.
Logan: Now the count is at 8!
Logan: this isn't very chronological.

Philosophy of Suffering
Andy: production is a bit overblown, hm.
Logan: The riffing is great but that drum sound still bothers me.
Andy: good slam transition, i'm digging that. vocals are still nothing special though.
Andy: the drums are way quiet, why is the snare being drowned out when it keeps beats in breakdowns? you know?
Logan: Oh there's a nice slam. haha.
Andy: 1:15
Andy: hell yeah.
Logan: Kinda Devourmentish vocal pacing.
Andy: yeah it's got kind of the Majewski-drone haha
Andy: this would be a good candidate for a funeral slam but
Logan: Hmm, that transition was kinda iffy.
Andy: they sorta transition to a more rolling slam.
Logan: I didn't like that transition either tbh.
Andy: bulldoze slams are good but i think that one came at a weird time, whatever. back to the first motif. getting a little repetitive here though.
Logan: Repeating the intro all over again.
Andy: hm, i can live with the next part though. it's got like a protracted tremolo-ish riff with good pacing
Logan: The guitars really drown out everything.
Logan: Oh shit yes
Andy: yeah, it's sort of unnecessary. they are powerful.
Logan: Infected Malignity blast slam.
Andy: whoa, Cephalotripsy breakdown at like 3:15
Logan: More bands need to do that for fuck sakes.
Andy: yeah haha, i don't get why it's randomly unique to IM. then they were like "lol deathcore!1"
Logan: Goddamnit Japan.

Structures of Inexistence
Logan: I gotta disagree a little bit, haha. It sounds a bit wonky to me.
Andy: i feel this one so far. vocals are still non-engaging and almost not even a factor.
Logan: Maybe it's just the guitar production.
Andy: but it's got a good charge to it.
Andy: i dunno, it isn't wonky really, and the way they divebomb into that first slam is satisfying.
Logan: The slam is paced quite differently.
Andy: yeah, it's a bit thuggy
Logan: Decent tremolo with a 4 note ending slam.
Andy: do not like how they dropped that one.
Logan: The hell is going on here.
Andy: good tremolo with a measure of slam just goes full weird.
Andy: okay, they do bring it back.
Logan: Come on, you were building up to something epic.
Logan: Why just repeat the same thing a bit faster.
Andy: yeah, hmm... direction on this song is a little bit rough. i mean, they had this problem on the demo too.
Logan: This isn't a strip club, don't tease me.
Andy: some parts would just be thrown out for no reason other than "whoa, wait, we need to have some variety"
Logan: Whoa
Andy: cool as fuck stuff going on now
Logan: That was almost like a reverse slam, haha.
Andy: kick drum following slams is killer.
Logan: More repetition
Andy: i gotta say the kick sounds shitty in that one tremolo-slam breakdown though.
Logan: please build up to something epic this time
Andy: i mean, at 5:35, in this genre, you better be going somewhere crazy.
Logan: What the fuck, come on.
Andy: HAHA.
Logan: I've heard this riff 20 times.
Logan: The fuck.
Andy: it's not bad or anything but wtf
Logan: Mind = blown.
Logan: LOL
Andy: um, alright. sure. that just happened.
Logan: It's like Ancient Necropsy.
Logan: Just....
Logan: Ivan has better guitar melodies.
Andy: except not all fucking weird and going crazy
Andy: i dunno, that last album wasn't so hot.
Andy: anyway back to this one though
Logan: whoa
Logan: this going to be a funeral slam?
Andy: 5:08 man, what the hell
Andy: YES.
Logan: LOL
Logan: Well, something epic finally happened.
Andy: WHAT
Andy: NO.
Logan: It just cut out abruptly too.
Logan: Oh come on, the next track sounds incredibly similiar already.

Systematic Extermination 
Andy: i think i liked this on the demo iirc...
Logan: He really loves those tremolo riffs.
Andy: yeah, coincidentally i do too.
Logan: vocals are drowned out pretty badly.
Logan: the slams pretty typical too. It's not that its a bad thing but I've heard this all before.
Andy: hahaha let's see if they did anything at the 2:20 mark or so
Andy: in my review i mentioned being like "YES 9 NOTE SLAM, PLEASE GOD YES"
Andy: then it just doesn't happen and somehow went well anyway
Andy: kind of Devourment-y
Logan: Hmm, I'm still upset that the vocals are so drowned out.
Andy: just less finesse
Andy: hahahaha
Logan: It seems like the production changes on every track
Andy: wait, what happened to the epic ride cymbal usage here?!
Andy: on the demo that weird not quite generic slam was highlighted by rides
Logan: Decent slam into more tremolo.
Andy: okay, that next tremolo riff is fairly sinister sounding
Andy: very old school
Andy: triplet slam
Logan: I like how the next slam progresses.
Andy: yeah, this is working well for me. iirc it was the more brutal of the two demo songs.
Logan: But damnit.
Logan: It was building up again to something great
Andy: this mixing is too much, way overbearing.
Logan: but just repeated itself again.

Cassandra Effect
Logan: lol.
Andy: dat intro
Logan: Almost Funebrarum styled guitar intro.
Andy: dude, this is doomy death metal.
Logan: Where's this going.
Andy: hahaha.
Logan: ......
Andy: i... i think this might be instrumental?!
Logan: this is totally nu-metal tinged.
Logan: from doomy death metal to nu-metal tinged riffage.
Andy: yeah, it goes back though
Logan: Totally an instrumental.
Andy: it has the pacing and lack of need for vocal percussion
Andy: to be an instrumental
Andy: this is actually good, tbh.
Logan: riffing's catchy.
Andy: yeah, this is a good riff.
Logan: It's just incredibly odd
Logan: and kinda out of place in the album
Logan: nice guitar lead
Andy: i feel like he probably just went "check out this riff let's just write an instrumental with it" and then it went from there.
Logan: reminds me of the new Esoteric.
Andy: YES, it does.
Andy: (always a good thing)
Andy: i can go for a tasty riff track once in a while.
Logan: The solo could've evolved a little more on that, but it was great.
Logan: Odd feedback.
Andy: if it's the minority it comes out refreshing
Andy: yeah, not sure about the ending

Bludgeoned into Demise
Andy: killer slam
Logan: LOL
Logan: Voice Clip.
Andy: hahahaha, the sample.
Logan: ah, it wasn't integrated perfectly.
Andy: unfortunately broke a bit of the flow.
Andy: yeah but at least they go back to dat riff
Logan: Yea, I was slightly confused.
Andy: WHOA
Andy: that fucking drum part, what the fuck
Andy: hahaha
Andy: i found the snare, dude.
Andy: it's all in this song
Logan: Was expecting to go somewhere completely different then another slam.
Logan: Drum fill.
Logan: ROFL.
Andy: KILLER fill.
Logan: Dude
Logan: the vocal pacing
Andy: this is more like it, i actually dig the flow here. it's sort of just slam-into-slam-into-slam with drum fills.
Logan: is totally Babykiller.
Logan: Weird blast.
Andy: hahahahaha
Andy: snare rolls.
Logan: Bass solo
Logan: kinda
Andy: dude, this is winning.
Logan: Still though
Andy: i love how this doesn't really give a fuck.
Logan: I'm totally singing Babykiller to his vocals
Logan: and it fits.
Logan: 100%
Logan: haha.
Andy: 2:20 slam doesn't really bring the headbang enough.
Andy: good thing they drop it.
Logan: Ah, he's at the midpoint. Discreate is the no fucks given slam band.
Andy: yeah, pretty much. and Putridity.
Andy: simultaneously 0 fucks and infinite fucks.'
Andy: 3:14, weird transition
Logan: Nice slam build up.
Andy: this is kind of an interesting slam
Andy: it's a little bit off rhythm for the typical one
Andy: or more melodic or something.
Logan: hmm.
Logan: Funeral.
Logan: Decent.
Andy: they always seem to put them at the very very end
Logan: I'm still not fully enjoying this though.

Human Derangement
Logan: It's great stuff, but these songs could be much shorter.
Andy: alright this was on the demo too
Andy: i remember immediately liking it
Logan: Odd little guitar riff.
Andy: but the production is worse than the demo somehow.
Logan: What's with this
Logan: the vocals are higher in the mix now
Andy: yeah, inconsistent... not sure about that.
Andy: no snare.
Andy: during faster parts. tempo is marked by kicks and they seem weird.
Logan: I hear it, but it's a bit drowned out at points.
Andy: i mean, this and most other slam albums would work better with a big, tight, ping-y slam
Andy: snare
Logan: Gotta give the man some credit though, this is a debut album, and being honest the production is quite decent.
Logan: It's no Syphilic, but it's also no Artery Eruption.
Logan: That slam ended too soon.
Andy: oh, it is worthy honestly. i mean we're being critical but this is solid shit. i feel like it's certainly got some charm to it
Logan: Into a weird melodic riff
Andy: 2:03 is awesome
Andy: more understandable vocals
Logan: Guest vocals?
Logan: Or same guy?
Logan: Sounded quite different.
Andy: it is probably him, but i'm sure he'll tell us haha
Logan: LOL
Andy: hahaha it was
Logan: That lasted way too short.
Andy: just needed to go into some goofy blast
Andy: same slam with cool melodic noodliness
Logan: Now this is more like it, keep it short.
Logan: IM slam.
Logan: Ended way too soon.

Hostile Annihilation
Andy: what kind of annihilation isn't hostile?
Andy: are there like
Andy: nice and concerned annihilations?
Logan: Facepalm dude.
Andy: this is a dumb as hell slam.
Andy: definitely the most troglodytic song yet.
Logan: It's headbangable, definitely.
Andy: yeah, totally.
Logan: There's the odd melodic tremelo.
Logan: I was waiting for you!
Andy: not sure i like that here. hahaha
Logan: It was perfectly fine
Andy: the tone doesn't really support the tremolo riffs much, i don't think.
Logan: just the transitions didn't work.
Logan: yea, if Colombia has taught us anything it's that cocaine can fund an entire country, and tremolos need to be extremely tinny and/or melodic.
Andy: i dunno man, this is tedious.
Andy: first song i'm not feeling much at all.
Andy: it's throwing slams at me but it just feels thrown together in this case.
Logan: I think it may just be a factor of how long the album is.
Andy: well, okay, kinda fair. guys, if you do actually read this; don't write albums over like 30 minutes...
Logan: Hmm, that ending slam is pretty good.
Andy: 35 if you're really feeling daring.
Logan: It's about 40 minutes long if you take out the intro.
Andy: only a handful of bands can really make slam engaging for the length you've made this album, and unfortunately this isn't quite there.
Logan: It does get tiring, only Bodysnatch has made long slam albums kinda work.
Logan: But fuck you
Andy: cool blasting part, actually yes
Logan: always ending it so quickly.
Andy: way too short, what the fuck!
Andy: this band seems like such a tease.
Andy: hahaha

Implements of Natural Selection
Andy: trees and cars are the same to this guy.
Andy: i hope he drives a tree.
Logan: I think it's the album length really.
Logan: This does seem a bit tedious.
Andy: yeah, it's getting tiring at this point. album pacing is a fickle and tough thing, dude.
Logan: Decent slam.
Logan: Weird triplets.
Andy: i mean, you are ending the album with two 5+ minute songs in a row.
Andy: okay, that's a cool one.
Andy: with the hanging notes.
Logan: I think it's the production really. It's making it hard to put up with 44 minutes of it, haha.
Andy: yeah, it's all loudness-war'd and shit
Logan: But that is an awesome slam.
Andy: yes, yes this is more like it
Andy: oh shit the one-note-too-soon snare hit?!
Andy: that is the kind of subtle brilliance that needs to happen more often
Logan: I also praise them for using the blasting slams.
Logan: What the fuck
Logan: that slam is so odd.
Andy: dude, whoa.
Andy: okay, wow.
Logan: 1:45 or so on.
Logan: haha.
Logan: Technical Slam.
Andy: yeah 1:45 on this song gets weird
Logan: Awesome riff now
Logan: haha.
Logan: 2:08 or so.
Andy: okay, shit son. this is much better than Hostile Annihilation so far. halfway through and i've been impressed more than i have about half the rest of the album
Logan: Also, this technically isn't their debut, they've had an EP named Icepick Facefuck before
Logan: but fuck that
Logan: I only count full lengths as debuts.
Andy: yeah, true. we made an exception for Gurchick Tree, kinda.
Logan: Hopefully they don't get mad at me like Begging For Incest did.
Andy: this is a really really heavy and oppressive riff
Andy: they make it into a slam backed up by triplets.
Andy: that's sort of brilliant
Logan: Great slam afterwards too.
Andy: i mean, write a tremolo riff, dissect it, make its basic root note parts into thicker slams, fill space in with triplets on kick?
Andy: profit?
Logan: They're so oddly paced, you don't hear many bands attempt to play like
Logan: 20 notes in a slam.
Andy: variations like that are what really work here.
Logan: LOL
Andy: why are the ends of these songs always full of the most epic random shit.
Logan: The ending slam reminds me of some old pop song, I can't quite put my finger on it.
Andy: huge empty space slam.
Logan: I believe it was something by Queen.
Andy: hahahaha.

A Mind in Ruins
Logan: Goretrade riff
Logan: almost HSB styled.
Logan: The shit.
Andy: dude, this is almost exactly like a slow version of something off the last Goretrade, hahaha
Logan: Heaven Shall Burn slam.
Andy: whoa!
Andy: wow.
Logan: Holy fuck
Logan: that slam.
Andy: that was so fucking cool.
Andy: dude, these last two songs are ridiculously good.
Logan: rofl, their album follows the trend of their songs.
Logan: The last song of the album is epic as shit
Logan: just like how every song ending is epic haha.
Andy: the middle of the album seemed like
Andy: why the fuck is this so long
Logan: slapped together.
Logan: haphazardly almost.
Andy: yeah, i buy this a lot more.
Logan: Really awesome tremolos here.
Andy: it seems like they sell the last few tracks a lot more. i wonder if it was conscious
Andy: very subtle, nice riff.
Logan: I still think this sound a lot like
Andy: he's got an ear for melody that's for sure
Logan: Heaven Shall Burn sometimes.
Andy: it does; it's the German thing. hahaha
Andy: 2:30
Logan: Whoa.
Andy: my anus is ready
Logan: Goretrade breakdown.
Andy: holy. fuck.
Andy: with better production this could be like one of the best melodic breakdowns i've ever fucken heard.
Logan: I like the hanging notes.
Andy: yeah, they do well with open space which isn't very typical.
Andy: letting slams breathe is a good way to do it sometimes.
Logan: Defeated Sanity is the only other band I know of that has pulled that off.
Logan: Coincidence? Damn Germans.
Andy: *double bass*
Andy: yeah, i'm flashing back to THAT ONE part.
Logan: You know
Logan: the ending of this track if it follows the trends
Andy: this is groovy now, i dig it.
Logan: my mind will = blown or well
Andy: finally some powerful snare hits. it's about time.
Logan: I don't know really, I won't be able to continue this review, as I'll be dead.
Andy: half a minute left
Andy: hahaha, they seriously just did that.
Logan: Ah, the ending wasn't very impressive.
Andy: lol, the ending.
Logan: Again, they cut off too quickly.
Andy: yis-yis-yis-yis
Logan: Gotta stick with these ideas.
Logan: Also, that soundbyte.
Logan: Goddamn.
Logan: now its 23 counts of murder.
Logan: Make up your mind.

Andy: that could've been an epic ending if the song were like 8 minutes long and they entirely cut out Hostile Annihilation
Logan: Hostile Annihilation never had a chance from the getgo.
Andy: well maybe in the meantime of the album playing he killed either 15 or 11 people.
Andy: depending on if he had originally killed 8 or 12.
Andy: we're still not entirely sure.
Logan: Stop rationalizing this.
Logan: Goddamnit.
Logan: Well, albums over, and I have the oddest feelings about it now.
Andy: i think the biggest thing Chordotomy could take away from this review is that they need to make the samples have a more consistent death toll.
Andy: that would entirely fix all the problems here.
Logan: Keep us up to date after every track.
Andy: ...
Logan: Give us names.
Logan: I want to know who died, how, and why.
Andy: okay no but seriously. final thoughts?
Logan: But in all honesty, I wasn't entirely feeling the album, until the last two tracks.
Logan: Especially A Mind In Ruins.
Andy: that was certainly something else.
Andy: they expanded on what they gave on the demo; good effort and headbangability. now a word.
Logan: The instrumental was interesting, the intro was just.... cheesy.
Andy: but they also fumbled a few times.
Logan: Every other track was a mixture of greatness and facepalm moments.
Andy: yeah, bad intro. keep it short if you're gonna do it at all. it's not even necessary.
Logan: Except for Hostile Annihilation.
Logan: I almost feel like they didn't care for that track themselves.
Andy: intros establish an atmosphere and should be consistent with the album's theme as a whole. don't give 4 minutes and change of like... plinkety piano and murder recounts by news stations, just dumb.
Logan: It was like they were just going through the motions.
Andy: yeah, that was somewhat of an afterthought, but it might've been its placement.
Andy: it was at a point in the album where you're anticipating what they'll do at the end to wrap it up but it's not quite there
Logan: The only other real issues I could see would be a pretty obvious one
Logan: the production has no real consistency.
Andy: not only does it have low consistent... it's just not that good.
Andy: i liked the hollow guitar tone on the demo but for this they were like
Logan: You need a cleaner guitar tone for tremolos like that.
Andy: hey guys the difference between demo and "album" is that albums are louder, right?
Andy: yeah, exactly. it needs balance. this was a bit too... suffocating? clarity is actually a good thing, people.
Logan: The snare disappears randomly, the kickdrum goes from bearable and not really noticeable to fucking annoying.
Logan: And during a few tracks the vocals almost disappeared completely


Anyway like I said, this was sort of an experiment in a different review style... hoping people (especially the band) read it and find it amusing and informative. For best results listen to the album while reading the review and see if you can line up your thoughts with ours. Sometimes we give timestamps for those following along at home. Cheers!